A very happy Friday Scribblers,

Next week some very exciting book post arrives: tragi-comedy novella GRQ by Hollywood screenwriter and director Steven Bernstein! We’re super lucky that Steve will be in the UK to launch the book in conversation with actor Tom Walker at Trafalgar Square Waterstones in June - but where else should we go on tour?! Let us know in the comments :)

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An award-winning feature film director, screenwriter, and cinematographer, Steven Bernstein has shaped some of the most visually striking films of the past 40 years. His work on the Academy Award-winning film Monster and on Like Water for Chocolate has earned global recognition. He is a recipient of the American Film Institute Award, the Sloan Award (for writing and directing), the Cannes Golden Lion (for commercials), and is an ASC nominee for outstanding cinematography. He has worked on over 50 feature films. His podcast Filmmakerandfans, about the creative process in film production, is listened to by millions.

For today’s newsletter, we return to our popular editing series on deleted chapters!

Rosie Garland chats to us about short story collection ‘Your Sons and Your Daughters are Beyond’, a queer folklorish collection of magical realism that celebrates difference. Over to you, Rosie…

There’s an old writers’ joke that goes something like this:

“I finished a 1000,000 word draft of my novel. I’ve just gone back through and edited out every unnecessary instance of the word ‘that’. I now have a 65,000 word draft.”

I write novels, short fiction, poetry and song lyrics.

When working on a novel, my first draft is typically around 110,000 words. I fully expect – and need – to shed at least 20,000 words. It’s all part of tightening up the narrative and editing out sluggish sections. I check on weird repetitions that creep in unobserved. In an early draft of The Fates (my latest novel), I got stuck on the word glow, and used it 3 times in one short paragraph!

It’s great advice – and not just for novelists. The same strategy is vital when putting together a short story collection. I avoid the kitchen sink syndrome, where the temptation is to chuck in everything I’ve ever written. I review my work honestly, and tell my ego to get out of the way. Let’s face it, some pieces are simply not as strong as others. Not everything we write is deathless prose. I certainly don’t want any collection of mine to feel padded out. I’m aiming for All Thriller, No Filler.

When I’ve honed down the heap, it’s time to ask questions. Whether the stories have a sense of flow, one to the other. Do they pull as well as push? Is there a thread, and if so, how can I use it to weave stories together into an interesting pattern?

Some stories may feel like cousins, huddled together at a family gathering. They may be in conversation with each other, inviting the reader to eavesdrop. Those conversations don’t mean they have to sit next to each other in the collection. The opening story might be waving across the entire collection to the final story.

At this point, enter the Helpful Editor. Thank you Isabelle at Fly On The Wall for being that person! Novels, short fiction or poetry - I love the dynamic of working with a good editor. Easy to tell the difference between good and bad: a good editor wants to help me make my work the best it possibly can be. A bad editor wants to rewrite the story the way they think I should have written it.

Working with a great editor doesn’t mean I accept all editorial suggestions. My rule of thumb is 85% / 15%. Generally, I’m in agreement with 85% of an editor’s suggestions. The remaining 15% I argue my case.

For example, ‘Quinquireme of Nineveh’. Isabelle felt the story contained the kernel of an idea, but hadn’t completely found its way. I agreed. It needed something. But I didn’t want to jettison it from the collection. The story meant – and means - a lot to me, and felt important to include. So, with Isabelle’s encouragement, I worked on the missing ‘something’ and developed the story fully. However, that’s a different blog!

In terms of ‘What’s left Out’ - when selecting stories for ‘Your Sons and Your Daughters Are Beyond’ there was the additional task of editing out entire stories.

Many stories in my initial submission had been previously published in journals and magazines. Not all of them were right for this collection. They weren’t badly written. Some didn’t fit the overall theme; some repeated what another story had already said. There were also a lot of very short pieces, and Isabelle didn’t want the collection to become overloaded with microfictions.

I’ll pick one example. ‘Ten Ways the Animals Will Save Us’, which was the title story in the Retreat West 10^th Anniversary anthology.

Ten ways the animals will save us

1. Let’s say my favourite is the tiger.

2. Let’s say yours is the manatee.

3. Let’s say I drop the control freak act and say how amazing, the manatee is my favourite too!

4. Let’s say we go to the zoo, strip off and dive right into her pool.

5. Let’s say she looks at us out of her muddy Zen eyes, smacks my shoulder with her flipper and I’m cured of the almighty stupidity I drag around and at last I can let myself love you in a way that’s not broken.

6. Let’s say we take the manatee home.

7. Let’s say she lives in the bath.

8. Let’s say she slaps sense into me every time I backslide.

9. Let’s say it works: life, love, the whole damn thing.

10. Just this once, let’s say I hold it together and don’t let go.

Isabelle and I discussed the story, and it didn’t make the final selection for ‘Your Sons and Your Daughters Are Beyond’.

However, on a side note – this story inspired the lyrics for ‘Crocodile Teeth’, from The March Violets new album ‘Crocodile Promises’. It’s a reminder that nothing is ever wasted…

Crocodile Teeth (lyrics Rosie Garland)

Let’s say your favourite is the tiger

Let’s say mine’s the crocodile

Let’s say I find a way to settle

Let’s say I didn’t sell your soul

Let’s say I didn’t make that phonecall

Let’s say I didn’t crash that car

Let’s say that I kept straight and narrow

Let’s say I didn’t sell your soul

Let’s say I was not always broken

Let’s say we dive into the moon

Let’s say I hold it all together

Let’s say I didn’t sell your soul

Let’s say that I can keep my promises

Let’s say I do not let you go

We live as innocent as animals

Let’s say I do not sell your soul.

Thanks so much Rosie - I love this idea that nothing is wasted. And with every deleted poem/story/chapter, I feel we have learnt something about the craft of writing - time spent learning is never time wasted!!

P.s. This has been a free newsletter so we would be super grateful if you could share with your writer friends, or consider upgrading! It’s a tough time for an unfunded publisher and we are forever grateful for your lovely support.

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Take care of yourselves Scribblers, until next week!

Isabelle x